Don't panic

It's been a while. I remember falling in love with you at PLAY on my birthday. You have become such a distant memory. Yet, it's one I will never forget. It is pretty scary how you forget things with time, you do not only forget memories, you forget also the emotions that come along with them. And how all of us, mere mortals, long to encapsulate eternity an a moment, a moment of joy, bliss, love and happiness. Nobody longs to encapsulate eternity in sadness, anger or hate. Yet, we all feel sad, angry and hate. As if at that moment in time, it's the most important thing we will ever feel. We all get older and wiser. I know I have evolved. If I am allowed to use that word. Evolved.

I've always been afraid of the cessation of thought, the cessation of emotions. I am really afraid I am lingering too close to the edge. I don't want to become the person I have always rebelled against, the person I never want to be. I need to find myself again. I have self-worth. I am capable, presumably more so than most. And I don't give a fuck about you, or you, or you. You all. Funny, somehow, I am starting to hate again. But all the angst is now hidden, unlike the wild child that I once was.

And I know for a fact that men are all sluts, hidden in the guise of two balls and a fucking penis. Bastards all. They all deserve to be dead. I haven't met one who is up to scratch yet, or deserves my fullest attention in a duel. None have been my match. Men suck. All. Literally. And they wouldn't do as good a job as me would anyway. HAH.